Welcome to 2019!

How have your first 4 days been of this new year?

How are you doing on your resolutions?

Too overwhelming?

Maybe you’re still in a sugar coma from the holidays.

Or maybe you’re still in denial that it’s a new year.

Or maybe you are just dreading something.  Like all the gloomy, wintery days that are ahead of you until spring finally arrives.

Or perhaps you would like to just hibernate through everything.

Or you’ve already given up on your new year’s diet resolution.

Or maybe you’re all excited that it’s a new year and a chance to do some new things or put all of the 2018 crazy behind you.

Or maybe it’s everything?

Me, well, I kinda want to hibernate.  But I’m also really glad that it’s a new year.  I’m hoping for a bit less crazy and a little bit of change.

But I didn’t make any resolutions.  Because, well, I hate resolutions and goals.  Any kind of goal.  I’m an equal opportunity goal-hater.  So it’s not just “new year’s resolutions” that I hate.  I stopped making resolutions about 10 years ago.  They weren’t working.  I wasn’t sticking to them and that was just one more thing I could make myself feel guilt and shame about.  And guilt and shame isn’t a good thing.  So I stopped making “new year’s resolutions.”

But just because I don’t set any sort of resolutions or goals of any kind doesn’t mean that I’m against any self-improvement.  I’m totally for self-improvement.  That’s partly why I read so much.  And that’s why I read some of the books that I do.

For those that are curious, I read 133 books last year, 151 books in 2017, and 160 in 2016.  You can go check out my shelves if we’re friends on Goodreads.  That’s how I keep track of everything.  I’ve also finished 2 books so far this year.

I really, really wanted to read at least 150 books this year, but that didn’t happen.  And I’m okay with that.  Ten years ago, I would have felt great guilt and/or shame about it.  I would have beat myself up for it or called myself a slacker or stupid because I didn’t make that goal.  But now, well, that’s an epic number of books to read in one year.  I mean, I read The Odyssey this summer.  And I seriously enjoyed the translation I read.

Excellent example, books, you say, but don’t you want to get into better shape?  Everybody does.

Well, yeah.  Everybody does, especially on January 1.  And I’d love to get back into better shape.  I think I might be able to do that this year.  Not because I’m making the goals or joining a gym.  But because my knee isn’t hurting me nearly as badly as it was this time last year.  And it’s about time!  It’s only been 2.5 years since I hurt it.

I’ll probably join a gym, though, since my work has some type of reimbursement program happening this year.  But I haven’t joined it yet.  I’ll give it a week or so before I go sign up.  Maybe it’ll be less crowded.

I decided back in November that I was going to start focusing more on my morning routine and keeping it routine as much as possible.  I didn’t wait until January.  I got out the happy light and I got a couple of Advent studies for the season.  Those helped me navigate the various stresses of the season.

I got my study books for January back in December and I’m planning out what I’m going to be reading every morning this year (hopefully).  I’ve got things scheduled through almost the end of May so far.  I may pick up an Easter study during the Lenten season.  I haven’t decided yet.  But there’s another study guide that I’m going to use probably this summer.  Technically, the online study is happening right now, but adding that to my list would be overwhelming right now.  So I’m just going to plan that for later this year.

And this kind of planning doesn’t bother me.

Will it bug me if I deviate from the plan for one reason or another?

Honestly, maybe.

But am I going to beat myself up about it?

No.

I don’t do that any more.  And that’s huge for me.  And I’m going to love that and celebrate that and I’m going to keep on being the awesome me that I’ve discovered that I am.  And I’m okay with that.

One thing that I did do for the new year was pick a word for my year.

Actually, I’m being honest here.

I didn’t pick the word.  God told me what it would be.

That may sound weird to you.  It could have been.  But it wasn’t.

And it wasn’t audible and there wasn’t thunder and lightning.

There was just this whisper in my heart and I knew what God was telling me my word would be for this year.

I’m not ready to talk about it yet with you.  It’s still too close to my heart and too personal right now.  I’ve only told 2 people about it.

I will tell you what my past words have been since I started choosing words.

2015 was Brave.  Brave because I had moved to a new place.  Brave because I began caregiving.  Brave because I decided to join a recovery group.

But I didn’t know any of these brave things would happen at the beginning of the year when I chose it.  I only knew that I had just moved and I needed to be Brave.

Brave carried over to 2016 because there were so many things that I had to be brave about.

And Brave spawned 2017’s word Boundaries when I began setting boundaries with the people in my life.  I know they didn’t like that–me setting boundaries.  They couldn’t take advantage of me anymore.

And Boundaries continued to be my word for 2018, because learning healthy boundaries does not happen over night, or even in one year.  And all of that took Bravery.

You know, I didn’t even try to find a word for 2017 or 2018.  They just came to me in the year.

But this year, I knew, needed something a bit different.  It needed more intention.  Which is why I started talking to God about it in November.  Reading Remember God by Annie F. Downs got me thinking about it and praying about it.   And I know that this was all God’s timing.  There’s no other way so many things could have happened at the same time to get me in the right place to be ready to actually hear this word from God.

I’m glad that God gave that to me in November.  It gave me anticipation and excitement about seeing how he is going to work that out in the new year.

I haven’t noticed anything yet, but we’re only 4 days in.

Maybe I’ll let you know what happens this time next year.