Last week wasn’t an easy week.  In my last post, I opened up about some of my struggles with depression.  And to top all of that off, Sunday the 10th would have been my grandma’s 82nd birthday.  Thursday the 14th was the day that she passed in 2007.

I won’t pretend that I’m the only one to have suffered a loss.  We all have.  And we all grieve in our own ways.

We remember in our own ways.

I remember that she used to read me stories and sing me songs when I was little.

I remember grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup on Saturday nights.

I remember that she used to take me shopping because she wanted to spend time with me.  That was her gift to me–her time.

I remember her talking about the kids she used to watch, her friends from church, the retreat every year at the beach.

I remember her feeling sick, having migraines.

I  remember when she started using the word “cool.”

I remember all of the things that she learned how to do.  She learned how to paint and draw.  She could crochet.  She sewed.  She learned how to work with clay.  She was always making something.

I remember that she and I were just starting to get to know each other as grown ups when she got sick and died.

I remember all of the things that she’s missed since.

I remember that she loved Jesus and she prayed for all of her friends and family.

There is sadness in remembering.  There is also joy sometimes.  Like that time she and I crawled under a fence to get to a really good blackberry patch.

It’s a good thing to remember, to grieve, to talk about those who are gone.

And you don’t have to remember just the good stuff.  It’s normal to remember the bad stuff.  That’s okay.  People aren’t perfect.  Relationships are usually messy.

And you don’t dishonor anyone’s memory when you talk about the bad stuff.

In fact, if you ignore the bad stuff from relationships because you are afraid of dishonoring someone’s memory, you could be doing some harm to yourself.  Denial isn’t a good thing.

Be alone with your thoughts if you need to.

Be with family or friends if you need to.

Take time to remember. Celebrate.  Grieve.  Acknowledge the anniversaries.

And cherish the time that you have with those you love.