It's January again. 2020 is over, and we're on to 2021; but it doesn't seem to be bringing a feeling of newness with it. Rather, it feels like a continuation of the exhaustion that last year was building. 2020 is over; but so many of the things that made it so hard haven't disappeared. Can…
Nine days. I'm going to have surgery in 9 days. I mean, this cancer thing is still sinking in, but that is going to make it even more real, you know. I've got my pre-op and my post-op instructions. I'm trying to figure out what in the world I'm going to need help with afterwards.…
Once upon a time this past November I asked God if he would make my heart harder. And then I took it back. You see, I was thinking about how much it hurt when I lost my Little Boy and Mittens. I didn't want to feel that hurt again. I immediately realized that my heart…
It's the solstice today. The shortest day of the year. The day with the least amount of light and the most darkness. What better day to talk about light. I simultaneously dread this day and look forward to this day. Dread for the same reason I dread the rainy, gray weather - I am solar…
The Christmas season feels harder this year. I've been trying to think of the reasons why. 1.) I've had a headache of one kind or another since October 20. Yes. Still. These headaches have kept me from doing the majority of Christmas crafts I've wanted to do. They've kept my brain from working clearly. They've…
They say that you can’t blame your parents for your choices. You’re a grown up. You need to take responsibility for your decisions, your actions, your words. It’s fruitless to blame your parents. After all, you are making those choices. Your parents aren’t standing there telling you what to do Hopefully. However, if you look…
July 4th. Independence Day. America's birthday. What were you up to that day? A parade. A BBQ. Fireworks. Work. Did you eat too much, stay up too late, let your kids have too much sugar and almost burn themselves or their siblings with sparklers? My husband's place of employment was in the parade this year,…
It's been a month. It's seriously been quite the month. We've lost four of our almost-full-sized chickens, one hen, one turkey, and Little Boy. And I'm so tired. Of loss. Of futile feelings. Of powerlessness against outside forces. And I miss my kittens, who weren't really kittens, but who won't get to grow up to…
I know you've all been wondering how my garden is doing--especially since I've not posted any pictures of it so far. The very first tomato of the season! A ready-to-eat salad Soon to be producing way more zucchini than we can eat. Marionberries My new favorite color/type of marigold--the strawberry blonde Looking at all of…
It's that time of year again! The days are getting longer. Everything is blooming. Pollen is coating the cars. And the blackberry vines are growing like mad. I spent all day working in the garden this past Sunday. After my fall in February that injured my back, I am in quite a bit of pain…