It's January again. 2020 is over, and we're on to 2021; but it doesn't seem to be bringing a feeling of newness with it. Rather, it feels like a continuation of the exhaustion that last year was building. 2020 is over; but so many of the things that made it so hard haven't disappeared. Can…
It's been a month. It's seriously been quite the month. We've lost four of our almost-full-sized chickens, one hen, one turkey, and Little Boy. And I'm so tired. Of loss. Of futile feelings. Of powerlessness against outside forces. And I miss my kittens, who weren't really kittens, but who won't get to grow up to…
This feels like a fitting subject for the week of Valentine's Day. We all have dreams that haven't been realized. Maybe you don't think that's you. You have your spouse, your 2.3 kids, the family dog, the house with the white picket fence, the amazing career or non-career. And that's awesome. But I'm sure you've…
The darkness can be a good thing, you know? It is only in knowing the darkness, experiencing the darkness, that we are more able to appreciate the light. When we experience grief and sorrow, joy becomes all the sweeter. It's a hard thing, though, to not fight the darkness in some of its forms: grief,…
How are you doing? Friday was Winter Solstice, the shortest and darkest day of the year and the first day of winter. It's been raining a lot here the past week or so, so even though there's a full moon up there somewhere, the clouds are so thick and the rain so persistent that I…
This hasn't been an easy summer. I feel raw emotionally. I've lost three uncles in the last two months. I've celebrated the anniversaries of the deaths of three grandparents. I've been places where these people should have been, where they were loved, where they were expected--places where they shone. And I've heard about people getting…
Last week wasn't an easy week. In my last post, I opened up about some of my struggles with depression. And to top all of that off, Sunday the 10th would have been my grandma's 82nd birthday. Thursday the 14th was the day that she passed in 2007. I won't pretend that I'm the only…