I was listening to a great book last week.  I listened to it first last year.  It’s just one of those books that deserve another listen and several more read-throughs, which is why I purchased a used copy.

It’s called Super You: Release Your Inner Superhero.

Now, before you turn up your nose at it or jump to any conclusions, it’s not about exposing yourself to radioactive waste or finding a radioactive spider or becoming obsessed with bats and deciding to be a vigilante.

Rather, it’s about figuring out who you are, how you got that way, and becoming the best possible person you can be.  It’s a self-help book, but it’s not boring and it’s not full of psychology jargon.

Emily Gordon takes something so many of us enjoy, superheroes, and uses them as a way to teach us about ourselves.

One of the biggest things that jumped out at me this listen-through is the fact that superheroes don’t define themselves by their weaknesses.  Superman doesn’t call himself Kryptonite Man–even though that’s his only weakness.  The Hulk doesn’t call himself Anger-Management-Issues Man.  Wonder Woman isn’t Don’t-Mess-With-My-Bracelets Woman.  And you know the Black Widow isn’t the I-Wish-I-Had-Gotten-Exposed-to-Radiation-So-I-Would-Be-Invincible Woman.

These superheroes don’t let anyone else define them by their weaknesses, either.  You’d have to have a death wish, or be Loki, to do this to their faces.

So why do we do this to ourselves?

“I’m such a loser!”

“Why can’t I do anything right?”

“I’m a failure!”

“I’m so stupid!”

And on and on and on.

If you’re as human as I am, you’re intimately familiar with this kind of self-talk.

But you don’t hear Wonder Woman talking like that to herself.  And you don’t hear her talking about anyone like that either.  And she doesn’t let any of the men she encounters make her feel small because she’s “just a woman.”

Superheroes don’t go around broadcasting their weaknesses.  Why would they want their nemeses to have an easier time defeating them?

We’re not superheroes, you and I; but we all have nemeses, whether they be that one co-worker or the nosy neighbor or your second cousin once removed.  They don’t need to know your Kryptonite.

And you don’t need to treat yourself how your nemesis treats you.  You deserve better than that.  I deserve better than that.

This is not to say you should ignore your weaknesses.  Acknowledge them, figure out if you can change, and do so.  But don’t identify yourself by them.  And don’t let them keep you from good mental health, success, and growth.

Superman can’t do anything about his Kryptonite weakness.  He can’t help that.

But you and I can help the way we talk to ourselves.  And we can help the way we think about ourselves.  Be kind to yourself.  Talk kindly to yourself.  Treat yourself like an Amazon among mortal men.

You are awesome.

You are from a spectacular race of warriors.

You have epic accessories and great hair.

You have an invisible jet….

…..if only you could remember where you parked it.